I always dream to be the number one in our class. Apparently, it would be impossible since the brilliant ones (the class valedictorian, salutatorian, etc.) belong to the same class. If not, the difference of my average to the number one student would only be 0.1 or worse, lesser. So I ended up being the second, third, fourth but never the first. Good thing is, my parents did not pressure me to beat those nerdos. But being an adventurous lad, I still wanted to beat them.
I did not succeed with my evil plans. I wasn't that über studious when I was younger. As a child I had lots of distractions - novels, Lego, airplanes, cartoons, Discovery Channel, Captain Planet, National Geographic, and the list goes on and on. I remembered that I only study the day before an exam. It was really frustrating to my part because I can do better than that.
I was in fourth grade when I made a promise (to myself) that I'll graduate as the class Salutatorian. So by fifth grade, I tried to focus and to change my study habits. It didn't work... it JUST DID NOT WORK. Moreover, I wasn't the teacher's pet because I always come to school late and I was brutally honest which came to a point that my classmates and teachers are already hurt with my statements. I was tactless and careless. Extra-curricular activities weren't a problem though. When I graduated in elementary, I ranked 15th out of 210 students. Not enough. My conduct pulled me down. But at the end of the day, I told myself that I am not a failure.
In high school, it was still the same. Tactless, careless, and not focused. High school was just a roller coaster ride. I ranked 17th out of 203 students when I graduated last March 2007. Well, at least I got minor awards like Most Outstanding in Music (Performer) and Loyalty Award.
When I entered UP, things have changed - new environment, diverse culture and new people to interact with. I tried to be consistent on the list, but once again, I failed due to lack of perseverance, focus and determination. Sometimes I get frustrated because my classmates would get high grades even if they studied hours before exam. I on the other hand would get a so-so result despite studying one week prior the exam.
But then again, I am not happy if I'm always in front of those wrist-thick books and lab reports. Sometimes, I need a break, like designing my own blog through CSS and Photoshop, interact to other people or take photographs. You can't acquire ALL things that you really want. Somehow there are things that are not meant for you.
To cut this long drama short, do not expect that all things will come to you in just a snap.