Debt Bed

I tried the Grab premium service of Singapore just for the heck of it. So, they gave me a Toyota Vellfire. Everything's automated, and it also has a sunroof. The driver was quite talkative, and it came to a point that we were talking about the Singaporean way of life. The convo went something like this:

Driver: So this car costs SGD 260k lah.

Me: Wow, that's like 10 million pesos! I can already buy a 2 bedroom condominium in that amount.

Driver: Oh, really? The average price of the condo here in Singapore is SGD 2.5 million!

Me: (gikapoy na ko mag compute kay for sure daghan zeroes involved). Whoa! But I think the payment scheme here is easier. You'll pay your condo for a hundred years. Even if you're dead, you still have to pay before you go to heaven. Death by debt!

Driver: HAHAHAHA you're crazy!

Me: I know, right?

Rejected UPCAT Essay Questions

I was really surprised when I found out that UPCAT comes with a new part - the essay part. Six years ago when I took the UPCAT, we were only required to answer four subtests - English, Math, Science and Reading and Comprehension. It seemed that the administrators are curious to know what's inside the minds of the future Iskolar ng Bayan.

I was browsing the trending topics on Twitter when I came across with this hashtag: #RejectedUPCATEssayQuestions

It really made my day (or night, whatever)! Whoever created this is a genius. I salute you mate!

Here are some of my favorites:

The Day When I Butchered My Hair

A good head of hair is often called a crowning glory. Aside from giving us physical protection from heat and pressure, our hair defines our personality; who we are as a person. Some people whom I personally know even spent millions... lol just kidding... a LOT just to maintain their desired hairstyle. Talking about vanity. But truth is, your ugly when your hair's a mess (in a bad way) no matter how symmetrically perfect your face is.

SOCIAL SUICIDE

Just recently, I made a huge mistake...

Meet the Crying Baby

Meet Anya, the baby who always cries whenever she sees my hideous face.

I don't know but I have this superhuman ability - I make babies cry in less than three seconds. Often times, when a baby stares at me, I stare back and look straight in his/her eyes, and the next thing you'll know, you'll hear a loud, guttural cry.

Confidence Level: Asian

I always believe that I have a great voice.

Yes, seriously.

Back in 2002, my adviser handpicked me to represent our section for our school’s singing contest. Together with my partner, we practiced almost every day. We sang Regine Velasquez’ Ulan. The contest went smoothly but we didn’t win, unfortunately. I even blamed my partner for our loss because she didn’t hit the right notes. Good thing she was a sport; I wasn’t.

Celebrity Account

Excluding the members of the introvert and anti-social communities, everyone dreams of becoming a celebrity. We all know the perks of a celebrity - unlimited supply of products from sponsors, TV appearances, movie projects, commercials and a whole lot more. But not all of us are lucky enough to reach that star.

Photo credit

Celebrities are known to influence people in many aspects and it can be discerned from the number of their fans. And in today's time, it is very possible to communicate with them through their social network accounts such as Twitter. Many of us think that having millions of followers is a blessing (most especially for bloggers because millions of followers literally translates to millions of bucks!). But for celebrities, it's the opposite. Allow me to show you some consequences of having millions of followers online.

Pampering Thyself: The Beauty of Freelance Work

Last Sunday, I went to the nearest mall with mom and dad. Mom did her weekly grocery thing while dad and I hung out at a food stall near the grocery. Then, I checked my dollar account to see whether the checks have already validated.

FINALLY.

The long wait is over!

Jeepney Rides Are Fun... or so I thought.

Whenever dad's not around, I commute. I prefer riding a jeep because it's an inexpensive way to tour the city... unless if you live ten boondocks away from downtown.

Jeepney rides are fun! (Photo credit)

But sometimes there are some reasons why I sometimes hate commuting. No, it's not about how small or old the jeep is, it's the people whom I share a seat inside!

Here are some nosy people that I hate to be with inside the jeep. You might as well encounter some of them in one of your future rides!

The Desperate Cerelac Story

OMG.




I can’t believe this. I really can’t believe this whole thing!


A while ago while finalizing the wedding invitation of Dhianne, my client, my stomach suddenly talked. He just kept on muttering these words over and over again:

FEED ME! FEED ME! FEED ME!

Food wasn’t an issue to our house until I realized that mom hadn’t gone shopping for our food in the grocery for almost a week already. Dang, the last two eggs were gone since I already ate those two days ago. I tried to make two hard boiled eggs, but it turned out that my estimates weren’t that precise and accurate. Sheesh. So I ended up with a hard egg white with a gooey orange-to-yellow-hue of the yolk. Uggh. I remembered drinking the yolk part. Pancit Cantons were out-of-stock too. Those were my fave dishes whenever I get hungry during the wee hours of the morning.

Thanks to my ingenuity I came up with a bright idea, so bright that I ended up puking the crap out of my mouth, well almost. My aunt’s husband gave us lots of sachets of Cerelac (wheat and milk flavor). It was intended for our 5-month old Belgian Malinois puppy, Fita. But then again, I was curious with its taste, texture and all tangible properties that exist on this baby food.



So I gave a shot with this food, with a twist.

I remembered last night when the Korean San Chai told the Korean Wo Tzue Lei that one can make pancakes out of flour, eggs and sugar. All you have to do was to mix all of the ingredients. In my case I only had the powder form of Cerelac. THE HELL I CARE. So I just mixed warm water, and Cerelac in the bowl. It was quite sticky, but sweet. But that’s not all! I made it extra special by filling the pan with enough cooking oil and heat it. I felt that I was a contestant of Hell’s Kitchen! When I felt that the stove generated enough heat on the frying pan, I placed the sticky concoction to it and poof, there was magic.



And then after ten minutes, it was still sticky despite having the brown coloration of the deep fried Cerelac. For my first ten bites I ate my wonderful invention sumptuously. After the eleventh bite I just realized that I was eating CRAP all along. It was so sweet that I started to feel sick. I think the remaining crap was good for only two scoops when I decided to dispose it. Don’t be mad at me for throwing food because even the hungriest child in Africa won’t dare eating my concoction because aside from its crappy look, it tasted like hell-what-kind-of-crap-is-this.



Sheesh. My stomach became disappointed. Suddenly, I was craving for something that is salty. So I ended up munching the Lumpia Shanghais. At least it wasn’t that ultra sweet.


Lesson learned: Cerelac is not edible when deep fried.



Period.

Ala Jack and Rose

Next time if you’re in a cruise with your love, be sure to check the surroundings first. Sometimes, an emo seagull will kiss you since the bird is deprived of love.

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

This is Priceless

I think Oprah Winfrey's infamous WOW expression was really funny (take note of the emphasis).

Another thing:

Oprah is fond of helping people during the time of natural disasters, crisis, you name it. But she doesn’t help every people. She’s not Mother Teresa, she’s only Mother Oprah. LOOOL! It goes something like this:

Woman: You know what, I'm really sad with my family. I don’t what to do Oprah (crying, sniff..sniff). You see? My house was destroyed by Katrina. I need a new architect, some cash to start all over again, I can’t take this anymore. Huhuhuhu.

Oprah’s simple reply: Well… Good luck with that (pat on the back).

I haven’t watched even a single MadTv parody of Oprah. I’ll try to watch it over the weekend. HAHAHHAHAHA.

HAHAHAHA. (Eck, redundant).

One word: Wuuhh-OW (exaggerated form of WOW :P).

Disclaimer: I do not intend/wish/mean to inflict unimaginable havoc to die hard fans of Oprah (including my cousin). Lool. :)))