Which Path I Should Take?

So, I'm stuck. I don't know which one to take between two post-grad degrees in Toronto. I initially thought of taking Human Resource Management at Humber College (Lakeshore campus) since they have a mandatory work term that could help me land a job for my PGWP and increase my network in Toronto. Also, I am interested in taking the Public Administration post-grad degree at Seneca College (York Campus) since I am a government employee, and I can easily defend this on my student plan. It also has an optional work permit, and the campus is at York University. I guess I have to do more research on which one to take. To be fair, Humber College also offers Public Administration, but it is more expensive at $26,000. We'll see how this goes.

I Survived!

Last week was just hectic. So, it was on the third week of my online work as a podcast manager. I was still learning about the how-tos of my role, plus I had to attend a two-day seminar about safety management. Do I have a choice? Nope, I didn't. I am the safety officer of my facility, and I have to attend that meeting. But wait, there's more! I have to work four days straight! Like, OMG. I can't believe that I survived. By Friday, I was sleep-deprived, and I was using every ounce of my neurons. Just after logging out at my online work at around 3 PM, my brain was restless. Instead of taking an hour's nap, I searched some stuff on the internet, then went to the gym by 4:20 PM. At sundown, my mind started to shut off. It felt like my brain wasn't there in the first place. I was mentally tired at that time. My close colleagues invited me for dinner at MOA, but I bailed out last minute because I was mentally exhausted. I was too tired to socialize. The mental stress was taking a toll on me. So, at around PM, I slept. The next thing I knew, the sun was already high, and it was bright outside. It was the best 11-hr sleep I have had—much-needed rest.

This week isn't that hectic since I have already done some tasks on my online work, and I don't have online meetings. God, I hate online meetings. Now I know what it feels like to attend online conferences and workshops for days. Zoom fatigue is real! I still have to work four days straight at ATMC but, I have already arranged that since I'm the shift supervisor on all shifts.

Anyway, I am still grateful for this online opportunity because it will help me save more and plan for my finances since I will study in Toronto! I think I'm going to settle at Humber College. I am excited! I am starting to gather my documents, schedule my upfront medical examination early next year, and research international student life in Canada. Wow, this is it! 

PS: I'm back in Makati CBD, and life is better here. I just didn't like BGC.

A Bold Step

This is it. This. Is. It!

I have finally decided to pursue graduate school in Toronto, Canada. Since 2019, I have been planning to move there and live there for good. Why Toronto? Well, I've always believed that I was meant to be there, that Canada is calling me. I've been gravitating towards the idea of settling there. When I went to Toronto last March 2019, it was love at first sight. No, Toronto may not be the cleanest city in the world, with lots of homeless people lying in the streets I mean, there's no perfect society, right? But I guess while walking around its parks and streets, and riding their streetcars and trains, I see myself working and living in Toronto. That's why in the same year, I applied for an express entry for PR (permanent resident) under the Federal Skilled Worker stream. Unfortunately, my CRS points aren't enough to meet the minimum score. I tried every province in the provincial nomination stream, but for some reason, I didn't receive an invitation from them.

I have to admit that I almost lost hope, but there's still one way to get there, and that is to study there and work after. In that way, I will score higher points for my express entry profile and have a better shot in getting the highly coveted PR. But why think of it today when you had the opportunity in 2019, you might ask? Well, I thought about it but it wasn't worth the shot since I need to study for a year, international students pay three times more than the locals. On average, a one-year graduate certificate costs around $17,000, excluding books and other miscellaneous fees. It doesn't include the monthly living expenses yet. While it's an investment, people are taking their chances since most of the invitations to PR came from the Canadian Experience Class stream, meaning those people who had their post-graduate education and work experience in Canada. They are prioritizing the international students. I believe this will be the trend for the next three years because come to think of it: international students pay more, therefore contributing to the education sector of the country. And after graduation, these students also contribute to the Canadian workforce, which is essential for the Canadian national economy. 

My target date is September 2022. For now, I am researching all the things about applying for a Canadian study permit, the steps I should expect and undertake, and the possible scenarios I would encounter along the way. I am aware that this is not going to be a walk in the park. I know that leaving my promising career in the Philippines is a big risk, but this is the risk that I am willing to take. All for personal growth and learning.

Nothing's going to stop me from reaching my goals. I can do this, with God's grace and perseverance, I shall conquer the world. Yes, I can do this!

Intersection

What if we lived in a world that didn't face the global health crisis? Life could've been different. You see, we'd both continue to do our regular work or responsibilities in life. We'd be traveling around the world and continue to tick off our bucket lists. Or perhaps continue living this never-ending cycle of monotony? Maybe in that world, our lives will continue like parallel lines. There is synchronicity. There is a common denominator. The world might feel small, but just like parallel lines, they will never meet.

However, in our realm, everything turned upside down. I thought life would be such a huge mess, not just for me but for everyone else. The world momentarily stopped, and chaos ensued. There was panic. And for the first time, there was uncertainty. It was in these moments where plans didn't go accordingly. But, I just realized that unpredictability comes with excitement. The unplanned outcomes are can either make or break you.

The foxes led me to a fortunate stroke of serendipity. Through these creatures, I had the chance to meet you. I met someone who has a soul so pure, so passionate and dedicated, and so much zest in life. An exchange of simple salutations turned into long late-night conversations. I knew right after our first call there was something special in you.

Every day, I look forward to seeing your name on my phone's notification. I would feel gutted if I missed your calls because I was either at work or sleeping. We laugh at our weird jokes, and we eagerly listened to one another how our day transpired–even talking about the weather of our current cities would last for like an hour. It was too easy to have struck a conversation with you. It felt like I have known you for the longest time. Every day, you always remind me to keep pushing forward to achieve my dreams. You always inspire me to strive for excellence.

I just realized that in our world, there's always a curveball. Somehow, the once parallel lines we used to started to converge. At one point in our lives, we begin to intersect. It is a point where all of the synchronicity, serendipitous events, and coincidences happen. From there, we shall remain at the intersection point, never leaving again as individual lines.

Second Half of 2021

I can't believe we're halfway through with 2021. So, yeah, my Canadian boss decided to take a break from my voiceover job, but I'm hoping that he'll give me projects soon. He told me there's nothing to do about the efforts I made but some of his projects that I'm working on didn't pick up steam. In the meantime, I'm applying for an online translator side gig. I'm currently residing at BGC, another posh district of Manila. I love the environment plus my new housemate is my former schoolmate back in uni so this shouldn't be hard (plus our birthdays are only a week apart, so we share the same attitude HAHA).

Wish me luck! I'll fly back to Davao in three weeks again to have my second dose of vaccine. I'm so excited! Most of my friends have already been vaccinated. My hopes are high.

Solitude

How is it possible to feel empty despite doing productive things? Like, today, I had 8 hours of good sleep, wrote the first safety report for the year 2021, ate delicious Chinese food, worked four hours for my online voice-over project, and watched three episodes of medical dramas. I even planned to edit my Melbourne vlog, but my creative juices aren't spilling out yet.

Yet, I feel terrible. Terrible because I wasn't like this. There's a party with my colleagues, yet I chose to stay at the office to do this stuff, to keep myself preoccupied. I feel better with this kind of setup. There are days when I don't feel like talking to anyone. There are days when I value solitude, that I have to regenerate this energy inside me. I don't know, but I still feel terrible and empty inside despite being productive. I am not proud of what I did like I only gave four stars to the Grab delivery guy just because he doesn't have change for 500 pesos for my McDo delivery. So, I went to the nearest ATM, only to find out it's taking 48 years to dispense money. I banged the ATM out of frustration, and I didn't listen to the Grab driver's suggestion that I can pay him through GCash the following day. Instead, I gave him four stars despite him being so apologetic with our predicament. I know it wasn't a big deal on my end, but for him, it was. He was doing his job, and here I am, acting like a privileged brat. It feels like there's an inner monster or demon inside me.

Maybe all these emotional stresses that accumulated since last February had finally reached a crucial point. I'm not like this. But, there are people in your who'd test your patience. When someone broke your trust, you'll never bring it back. I believe people deserve second chances in life, but we have to consider the circumstances. As for me, when someone broke their trust, they start burning the bridges. Why fix something that's already damaged when you can destroy the foundations of it? I'm all for quality over quantity, and I don't give a flying fuck about all those good memories. Memories, whether good or bad, are a thing of the past. It's good to reminisce about it, especially the good ones, but we have to move forward.

Maybe I was hurt because someone took advantage of me being selfless. Maybe I was hurt because someone dares to tell lies to people. Maybe I was hurt because they never asked how I truly felt if I was okay or not. I think it's about time to leave this heavy emotional baggage and move forward. Burning bridges and destroying their foundations will surely help to unload this burden that I'm feeling right now.

I will be okay. But for now, I am not.