Failure

Time flies so fast.

Three years ago, when all of my classmates threw all their pens, books and laptops in celebration of the much-awaited summer break, I on the other hand did not utter a single word.

Rewind.

Hours ago, I went to my Biochem professor's room to claim my class card. I was desperately hoping that I'd pass the subject, or kahit man lang take the removals. I was really shocked when I saw the grade, a deadly 5.0. Even my professor got surprised by my demise. "Oh, Renz? What happened? You were one of my best students back in CHEM 17. Anong nangyari ngayon? May problema ka ba?"

I just smiled. I knew that I was on the verge of failing Biochemistry when I received the result of my third long exam (in this subject, we had four long exams plus a comprehensive final exam).

But I was in denial.

So for the fourth long exam, I told myself that I should start working my ass off. But it was too late. It was too late.

Fast forward.

I still had this positive aura while walking on the seemingly deserted hallway of my beloved university. Almost everyone's gone. The once noisy hallway filled with cheers of the students and teachers had become eerily silent. When my classmates asked about my Biochemistry final grade, I told them the truth. Funny thing was, I still smiled and tried to be funny. I was even proud that this was my first 5.0! But my classmates and my professor shared the same reaction.

"What happened?"

I was STILL in denial that time. I kept on reminding myself that this was only a bad dream.

Reality struck when I went home. I started to cry. It was depressing in my part knowing that I am always on the top since preschool. I was never used of failing. Even my parents were disappointed.  That moment was the lowest point of my life. I got really depressed for weeks but it made me realize something.

Failing Biochemistry was a positive thing in my life. It made me realize that sometimes I should accept defeat. I am aware that I didn't try my best. I just settled with mediocrity because I grew tired of competing with others. But I shouldn't insult my capabilities. I know I can do better than that. It was during that time when I become uninspired. But I shouldn't forget my friends and family - they are my number one source of inspiration.

Today, I learned life the hard way. I always strive for the best and do not settle with mediocrity. I have already listed my goals in life and little by little, I am starting to achieve it. And when problems strike, I always see to it that I'll find solutions by myself before asking the help of others (that is, if the situation gets worse).

Nevertheless, failure could actually bring out the best in you.