Dear Future Girlfriend,

I know we love each other but I just want to tell you a few things about me. Through this, you won’t complain about my treatment or worse, make fictitious stories about me.

1. Do not expect me to buy material things for you, especially if it’s very expensive. I don’t see love when I give you a thousand pesos worth of teddy bear with an I ♥ YOU sign on its chest. I prefer giving you real mwahs and hugs.
2. I don’t know how to cook. So please bear with me. Do not laugh at my burnt pancakes. I still find it sweet if we eat together, no matter if it’s only Lucky Me Pancit Canton and coke.
3. On a dinner date, you can choose any fancy restaurants or fast food chains, whichever you like. However, do not pick a restaurant which only serves seafoods. You don’t want me to die early, do you?
4. When you caught me watching porn, do not say “yuck” or “kadireeeeeee”. I will do the same thing if I caught you watching those SuJu (dvd) live concert. I’m just a man carrying an excess amount of testosterone. Don’t tell me you’re jealous?
5. When I say I love you, I really mean it. Do not laugh as if it’s a joke.
6. When I’m not in mood, please cuddle or at least talk to me. I may not in mood but I have two ears, ready to listen.
7. I don’t like it when you spill our secrets to your echuserang friends.
8. If you’re suspecting me that I have ‘another’ one, go ahead check my inbox. You’ll only find messages from you (of course), my thesis adviser, research assistants, mom and dad.
9. Whenever I bully you, don’t cry or don’t get mad at me. It’s just, I find it cute.
10. I’m not a big fan of window shopping.
11. I love it when you pinch my cheeks… even if it hurts.
12. I love traveling.
13. Let’s settle this, once and for all - I hate terms of endearment. I am not a big fan of calling you honey, babe, sugar, sweetiepie, applepie, honeybunch… acckk… and vice-versa. First name basis is already fine.
14. Whenever I cry in front of you, I am really, really hurt. I am not imitating John Lloyd Cruz for Christ’s sake.

Well, I think this is enough.