Solitude

How is it possible to feel empty despite doing productive things? Like, today, I had 8 hours of good sleep, wrote the first safety report for the year 2021, ate delicious Chinese food, worked four hours for my online voice-over project, and watched three episodes of medical dramas. I even planned to edit my Melbourne vlog, but my creative juices aren't spilling out yet.

Yet, I feel terrible. Terrible because I wasn't like this. There's a party with my colleagues, yet I chose to stay at the office to do this stuff, to keep myself preoccupied. I feel better with this kind of setup. There are days when I don't feel like talking to anyone. There are days when I value solitude, that I have to regenerate this energy inside me. I don't know, but I still feel terrible and empty inside despite being productive. I am not proud of what I did like I only gave four stars to the Grab delivery guy just because he doesn't have change for 500 pesos for my McDo delivery. So, I went to the nearest ATM, only to find out it's taking 48 years to dispense money. I banged the ATM out of frustration, and I didn't listen to the Grab driver's suggestion that I can pay him through GCash the following day. Instead, I gave him four stars despite him being so apologetic with our predicament. I know it wasn't a big deal on my end, but for him, it was. He was doing his job, and here I am, acting like a privileged brat. It feels like there's an inner monster or demon inside me.

Maybe all these emotional stresses that accumulated since last February had finally reached a crucial point. I'm not like this. But, there are people in your who'd test your patience. When someone broke your trust, you'll never bring it back. I believe people deserve second chances in life, but we have to consider the circumstances. As for me, when someone broke their trust, they start burning the bridges. Why fix something that's already damaged when you can destroy the foundations of it? I'm all for quality over quantity, and I don't give a flying fuck about all those good memories. Memories, whether good or bad, are a thing of the past. It's good to reminisce about it, especially the good ones, but we have to move forward.

Maybe I was hurt because someone took advantage of me being selfless. Maybe I was hurt because someone dares to tell lies to people. Maybe I was hurt because they never asked how I truly felt if I was okay or not. I think it's about time to leave this heavy emotional baggage and move forward. Burning bridges and destroying their foundations will surely help to unload this burden that I'm feeling right now.

I will be okay. But for now, I am not. 

2020

It's the time of the year when we post how we spent the year and how it culminated. This year was an exception–no throwback travel photos, no photos of your family and friends being together. It has been a long and dreary year for us, and January 2020 felt like it happened a decade ago. We have been through hardships this year, and all of these have affected most of us. It's easy to say that 2020 is the worst year yet as some succumbed to the virus, and long-awaited plans have to be put on hold indefinitely. Some of us were also quite eager to see the sunshine again, the birds sing, the flowers bloom, and this cold veil, the outbreak lifts itself off of this world. Most had desired so mere, yet so lofty. Everyone wanted to do what they did last year and the years before: live normally again, breathe once again some outer air. However, before this outbreak, people were tired of living monotonous lives, and they craved some change.

This year was all about realizations instead of expectations. We truly understood the meaning in the phrase, 'life is precious' and truly learned not to take anything or anyone for granted, not to guarantee anything, and to expect less and accept more. 

2020 changed us in every possible way. What was once flourishing in 2019 plunged into a deep, dark abyss in 2020. While some of us became a little cold, let's shed off the misfortunes that engulfed us, let us again smell the glittering new year. 2020 was a year that enhanced people's experience with turmoil and some with trauma due to the passing of those that once breathed air like we once did. While we're at it, we have stories and tales to tell when we're old and gray, like what we hear from the war veterans. While I am aware that it's like comparing apples and oranges, what happened this year will be embalmed in our history books, and one day, the future generations will one day use it as a source of knowledge.

One can only hope that 2021 will give us everything that we couldn't have in 2020. While 2021 rhymes with '2020 won', it didn't win.

The Impact of COVID-19 on Philippine Air Traffic Management

On March 12, 2020, Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte announced the halt of domestic land, sea, and air travel to and from Manila beginning on March 15. The National Capital Region (NCR) and the Greater Manila Area (GMA) were under Extensive Community Quarantine (ECQ) to curb the spread of COVID-19. International flights to key cities in the country had followed as well. While the government has advised everyone to stay at home, it was an entirely different story for air traffic controllers, albeit with the new safety procedures and health protocols mandated by the Department of Health.

The Air Traffic Service of the Civil Aviation Authority of the Philippines (CAAP) officially inaugurated the Philippine Air Traffic Management Center (ATMC) last August 2019 as it gears towards the integration of systems of the approach control and en route facilities of the country. The new integrated system addresses the increasing demand for air travel in the country. 

Know Thy Worth

So, I had an hour of a heart-to-heart talk with my best mate in Toronto. I told everything about why I was feeling down and sad these past few days. I told my mate that I have dropped a bomb that really caught him (nope, not my mate, the other person) off guard. I was actually expecting it. My good mate told me that there's nothing wrong with me and I just have to do those things that make me happy. He said, "know your worth, Renz!". I'm still in the process of recovering from all the bad shenanigans I did. It was downright irrational, irresponsible, and I might have caused a burden to him, to begin with. His last message read, "I really appreciate this. I have to process it though." Maybe I am still new to this thing, and the lesson was learned the hardest way. People really come and go, but they teach you valuable lessons in life. I should go with the flow, and the person who truly values me will just come when I least expect it.

Such a life!

PS: And oh, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris won!

Irrational Thoughts at 1 AM

I always think that I'm smart, rational, and organized. At work, I believe that I'm one of the most efficient employees, and I always strive for perfection. I have no problem with that. BUT, when it comes to love, I'm on the opposite spectrum.

Against The Tide

My dearest Super Pumpkin,

Maybe you will forget everything I have written here, but it doesn’t matter. Resting upon these pages are my truest feelings for you. I will leave my love for you so you might someday find it, when you’re moving to a better apartment, or when you start disposing old things from your drawer or cabinet, and so I may leave it behind me, so I may live again. Like the way, I used to live before.

Sodexo unwraps the best gifts and their digital solution this holiday season

Sodexo Benefits and Rewards Services fosters the spirit of gratitude this holiday season with a multitude of exclusive deals for its corporate clients and consumers. For companies to reward their employees in a safe and efficient way during these times, Sodexo also launches its new digital solution, the Sodexo+ app to complement their paper solution, Premium Pass.

The US Elections 2020

The entire world is watching. It's a neck-to-neck battle between the incumbent President Trump and Joe Biden. This is the current electoral college map, Biden, with 238 votes, and Trump is trailing behind at 213 votes. Nevada, Michigan, and Wisconsin are all leaning towards Biden as they continue to count the mail-in votes. Nevada has six (6) electoral votes, while Michigan and Wisconsin have sixteen (16) and ten (10) electoral votes. The remaining states that are leaning towards Trump are Pennsylvania, Georgia, and North Carolina. These three states have 20, 16, and 15 electoral votes, respectively.