Let Go

Dear mom,

Dad left us when I was still two years old. You told me that he had to go somewhere else. I can still remember his face, but not his voice. You told me that he’s a great singer.

You know mom, I didn’t care about dad’s disappearance. I thought it was just normal. I thought every dad in the world has to go somewhere else, leaving the mother to raise their child alone. But, I was just wondering mom. Why did you scold me after seeing dad’s picture? I just saw it lying on the floor. I do not understand why you told me not to ‘touch’ the things of other people. He is my father, mom. But, you just ignored me and left me confused.

Back in third grade, we had this mini-program in our classroom called Show and Tell. All of us were required to show something, be a thing, a person or an animal and tell the reasons what’s so special about it. Nathan, my best friend, happens to be the first one to present in our mini-program. The weird thing was he didn’t bring a thing or an animal. Instead, he brought a man. Nate introduced the man. He introduced his father to the class. A father. I got confused. What was his father doing inside the classroom? He should not be here! He should have left Nate when he was young too, leaving his mother to raise him, like me! He has to go somewhere else.

Remember when I got back home from school and ask where dad was? You gave me a cold reply, “He’s too busy. He will never come back.” He will never come back. HE WILL NEVER COME BACK.Those five words will be forever etched on my mind.

As I grew up, I had troubles of finding my true self. You don’t have to blame yourself mom if sometimes I get into trouble. Yes, you provided me the basic needs as well as lots of material things. But those things won’t compensate the loneliness I had experienced. I really got envious to my classmates who were constantly accompanied by their father. And then it hit me. He left us. Well, I do not really care the reason why he left. Perhaps he had another family. Or maybe I was born out of wedlock. As far as I know, he never came back to us. He will never come back. I feel so sorry mom for constantly nagging about dad’s whereabouts. Deep inside, you are hurt. So am I.

Now that I’m almost 30, maybe it’s now time to establish my own family. But ever since I’ve introduced a girl to you, you’re always grumpy. You told me that Lexie was not perfect for me. Mom, I know you are afraid. You are afraid because I might leave you. Mom, it’s been 28 years since dad left us. You don’t have to be afraid. You have to move on. We have to move on. It’s about time to move on to the next chapter of our lives.

I know you’re still mad at me, but I promise that I’ll never leave you. I am not like dad. I swear that I’ll be the world’s best dad.

I love you.

The Curious Case of an Eggplant

Heretics are those people who do not wholly conform to the medieval Church's doctrines. Usually the punishments of heresy are either excommunication or death. Take Galileo Galilei as an example. He was accused of heresy by the Catholic Church because of his scientific claims regarding heliocentrism; that the Sun is the center of the solar system, not Earth as what the Catholic Church once believed. Even after his death in 1642, the request of erecting a mausoleum in his honor was denied by Pope Urban VIII and his nephew, Cardinal Francesco Barberini because he was condemned by the Catholic Church for "vehement suspicion of heresy".

Last December 17, 2010 a similar incident occurred. No, the Catholic Church was not involved on it but it was the local government, who acted like Pope Urban VIII.

The local government had ordered UPMin to uproot all of its Bacillus thuringiensis(Bt) eggplants from its testing site. This is also the same day when almost all UPMin students and administration officers went to People’s Park to celebrate their annual lantern parade. Should the uprooting activity was held before or after the lantern parade, the invasion of the uprooters would have been prevented. It was truly one of the darkest days of UP Mindanao.

News and opinions regarding this issue have circulated over the internet. One article had caught the attention of the students and some professors of the university. According to that article, the writer said that UPMin should stop this stupidity as the exercise is nothing but a gross insanity (1). With all due respect to the writer, the university had meticulously studied this technology and has been proven safe, based on the experiments conducted by both local and foreign scientists (2). This technology will reduce the use of pesticides to kill the eggplant fruit and shoot borers. The gene inserted to the eggplant effectively protects it from these pests. I just cannot fully understand as to why the locals opted to believe the claims of an Indian scientist instead of a Filipino scientist.

Branding UPMin as stupid and arrogant is really demoralizing. The funny thing was, those people responsible for that derogatory claim do not EVEN know the science behind it. UPMin is mandated to do research and development for the betterment of the nation, ergo we know what we are doing. We are exerting too much effort with regards to addressing the current issues of our country. The university itself is not that stupid to pour all of its resources if they found out that the research won’t have any benefits to the nation.

No matter how hard we try to tell the science about it, even if it’s already in layman’s term, they won’t listen. They just wanted to uproot all the Bt eggplants from the field. All the hard work and pains of the workers and researchers did not pay off. They didn’t give us a chance to explain our side.

I am still hoping that this scientific endeavor will continue in the near future.

I do hope that the modern Pope Urban VIII will realize the importance of this project.

PS: Please take time reading these two articles, one written by Dr. Eufemio T. Rasco, Jr. and the other one, an editorial piece of a local newspaper.

All photos taken by Mr. Rene Estremera

High School Never Ends

I never really enjoyed high school that much.

I studied in a Catholic-Chinese school for almost 13 years (preschool to 4th yr High School) here in Davao. I have witnessed so many changes in my school - the administration staff, the developments and the students as well.

High school was really tough for me. It's not that I had difficulties catching up with the subjects, it's dealing with the people around me. I really had a hard time to adapt with their unpredictable attitude. Well, I should expect this due to the rage of hormones inside our system.

High school is known for its stereotypes. It's like India's Caste System. The Brahmas are the jocks and the pretty girls. The Kshatriyas are the student leaders. Fortunately I managed to be the part of the second to the lowest caste system - The Sudras (aka The Nerds). The commoners aka the-ones-who-is-easily-forgotten-by-students-and-teachers are the untouchables.

Back in high school, I always daydream to be one of those cool and famous kids. I just want to know the feeling of being famous. I wish to have the prettiest girlfriend so that all the people in the world will get envious to us. I wish to be one of the most influential students in our school. I wish to have more money so that I could afford all those 'cool' gadgets and with those 'cool' gadgets, people will brand me 'cool'.

I experienced being bullied too! As one of the nerds in our batch, some of my classmates will just get my assignment without asking permission, copy it and return it to me without saying 'thank you'. But wait, there's more! There was one time when my assignment in Physics got lost because of their negligence. Also, when I was in third year, my Chemistry teacher discovered my laboratory manual inside a trash bin. I got furious but didn't have guts to face those mindless bullies. I just kept it to myself and it hurt my ego.

But you know, I was really thankful that I had experienced those horrifying incidents. It made me a better and a stronger person. Just be yourself. Don't meddle with the lives of other people.

Four years later.

One time, I saw one of the jocks of my batch, carrying a baby girl. He's a single father and can't finish his tertiary education the soonest. I also heard the news of one of the nerds of my batch. He's currently studying in a prestigious university in USA.

Look, life is so unpredictable.

Some Frustrating Things in Amazing Race

Contrary to popular beliefs, teams joining this reality show do not have what it takes to win the million dollars (plus some great freebies if you arrive first at the pit stop). No matter how good you are on reading at maps/directions or how physically strong you are, it won't really matter if some unfortunate things happen unexpectedly. Here are some things that would actually change the drama of this show.

1) The first team leaves the pit stop at around dawn and arrives at the airport, only to find out that the next scheduled flight to their next destination will be at around noon or evening. The other teams behind them will surely catch up. Back to square one.

2) Teams arrive at the airport and dash outside the terminal building to search for vacant taxis. Then the teams made a mad dash on the highway to their next destination. Unfortunately, upon arrival at their destination, they found out that the place they're going to perform a certain task is closed. They have no choice but to wait 'til morning.

3) No matter how good you are in reading maps, it would be useless if you bought a map written in a foreign language. I can't imagine myself reading a Chinese map.

4) You use all your charm just to be on THAT certain flight.

5) Virtual Pit Stop. This would surely spoil the euphoric mood of the supposedly 'winning' team, after the host gives their prize: their next clue.

6) Taxi drivers usually know where they are going, given that they have been driving on that certain country for a decade (or forever). Although, some of them can't understand English, resulting to confusion and a waste of time and resources.

Team member: Excuse me, sir. Can we just stop for a while and ask a local because I think you don't know where you're going.

Driver: Yes, yes, I do! (Then, he continues to drive, leaving the team clueless).

7) Foot race. It's a bit frustrating when you're seconds away from winning a grand vacation package from Travelocity. Things get worse if you're racing to the finish line. I'm pretty sure that those teams who are only seconds behind the prize will regret about it.

8) Overcharged fees of the taxi or public utility vehicle drivers.

9) The taxi stops in a gasoline station to fill its tank. Time is precious.

10) You're team mate keeps on whining about your clumsiness on a certain task. Your team mate doesn't have the right to direct you. I'd rather quit the show if I have a team mate who keeps on yelling, "Stop being so stupid" or "Run faster, you idiot!" at me.

11) Language barrier. Always the problem (especially in China, Japan, and South Korea).

Well, teams must have witty strategies to overcome these predicaments. I'm pretty sure that team work will overcome these. If you audition and got lucky to become a part of the show, just enjoy the race.

It's a race of a lifetime.

Experience CDO

"No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow."

- Lin Yutang

Last August 1, 2010, the delegates of VYLH (Volunteer Youth Leaders for Health) Region 11 elected me as the Regional Representative. My task is to collate all the reports of Region 11 and present it to the regional meeting. So, in October 21, Kuya Anggo called me.

"Hi Renz, this is your Kuya Anggo from VYLH. We are going to have our regional meeting at Cagayan de Oro. We will stay at Hotel Conchita. I'll send some important travel docs to you and to your Dean."

So the day after, I booked a flight to Cagayan de Oro. I have always wanted to try going to Cagayan de Oro by air. I've been to CDO many times by land and it was exciting at first because you get the chance to see the beautiful scenery of Bukidnon. But as time goes by it gets pretty boring once you get used with the route.

Fast forward to November 12. I arrived at Davao International Airport around 10 am and waited for my flight. My uncle, who happens to work at the airport as the Senior Air Traffic Controller accompanied me up to the predeparture area. It was my first time to board and ride an airplane ALONE.

At around 1140, AirPhil Express Flight 253 departed Davao. The flight was pretty smooth, though I wished had a violent turbulence. Just kidding. Here are some of the aerial shots of Davao City.

20 minutes after departing Davao, the seatbelt sign was on and the pilot announced that we are now on final approach at Cagayan de Oro City. I have the chance to see the aerial view of CDO. Siltation of Cagayan River can be seen very clearly in the air.

When the Q400 finally parked on Lumbia Airport's tarmac, I hailed a taxi and arrived at Hotel Conchita 30 minutes later. Traffic in Cagayan is very different compared to Davao. By three in the afternoon, my long-lost ninang fetched me and treated me in Starbucks and Missy Bonbon. Also, I've finally met Dan, my online bestfriend (LOL) together with his classmate and treated me a melon gelato at Missy Bonbon. Thanks Tita It and Dan for the warm accommodation. Too bad, I forgot to take pictures with Dan and friend at Missy Bonbon.

Meanwhile, back at Hotel Conchita, the other delegates from Bukidnon, Zamboanga, Davao and Butuan have arrived. We had a short briefing about tomorrow's meeting. Later, we went to Limketkai Mall. We took pictures with the mall's authentic conifer tree. Later, we got hungry and decided to eat at Yellow Cab.

The second day was pretty exhausting. We spent the entire day inside the hotel's conference room. We reported about the updates of our region. I was impressed with some of the regional reports, especially in Region 9 and 10. They have exerted extra effort to relay the important information about New Born Screening and Rare Infant Diseases. Fortunately, we finished all of our agenda in just 1 day. Since some of our delegates came from the host city, they toured us in Xavier University. I really liked the architecture of XU and it's relatively bigger compared to Ateneo de Davao University.

Since the famous night cafe aka CDO's Divisoria is just in front of Xavier University, we entered its chaotic streets and alleyways. I was extra careful with my personal things - digicam, cellphone and wallet - that my hands were always in my pocket. I only bought this hipster Ray Ban eyeglasses for only 60 pesos! Despite the mayhem, I was still amazed since we don't have this in Davao. I love Cagayan de Oro for its mayhem (well, in a good way). It's a brand new experience for me!

We went back to the hotel at around 10pm. Everyone was tired except for yours truly, Kat, Shane, Ryan, Leo, Charles and Joan. We tried to knock some of the delegates' room and ran as fast as we could to the adjacent hallway. We missed the feeling of being a kid, by the way. We also shared some ghost stories up to two in the morning.

Going home is the saddest part of the trip. You wish to stay longer when you are about to arrive at your home. We bid farewell to Joan, Ryan, and Norwin. They have to leave early so that they won't miss their respective flights. On the other hand, the Davao and Bukidnon delegates rode a hired van and traveled at least three hours before reaching Valencia City, Bukidnon to eat lunch at Jollibee.

It was a fun trip! I'm looking forward for the National Leadership Congress this coming May 25-27, 2011 to be held at either Corregidor or Batangas.

Youth volunteers, keep the fire burning! :)

Losing Grip

When I entered UP three years ago, I told myself to get as much as unos and graduate with [Latin] honors. Three years had passed and my principle had changed, all because of those experiences I had in the university.

Tres is just a passing grade; barely passed a certain subject. But you know what? Having a grade of three is the best experience in my whole life. Cliffhanger. It's just a matter of life and death.

At the start of the semester, you start to set your goals. By the end of the semester, you should have a GWA of at least 1.45 and become a University Scholar. Then, you try your best by studying every night. You even choose to stay home during weekends to finish your thesis than strolling at the mall. Then, your circadian rhythm is destroyed.

I just learned that you can't please everybody, no matter how hard you try, like what happened last semester. Evolutionary Biology (BIO 140) is a very interesting subject. But despite my interest (it came to a point that it became an obsession) on this subject, I only got tres. 3.0. It was really painful when I only got 25/100 despite having a four day preparation prior the exam. Well, the problem was, I had a hard time catching up with my professor's rhythm.

When I went to school three weeks ago to get my class card, I was really nervous. I thought that I was going to flunk this subject. When I got my class card and saw the number 3 circled by a black ink, I almost cried. Tears of joy. It just shows that if you start losing your track, you just think of finishing it, no matter what the results are.

I did my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough.

Yesterday

"Kuy, gising na."

Dad woke me up. It was 8 in the morning. It was unusual of having a gray hue on my room instead of a bright orange-yellow. It took me ten minutes to stretch, yawn and stare at the ceiling.

It was raining.

It was one of the perfect mornings that I've ever had. I prefer having a cold and rainy morning instead of a bright and warm one. I love when the sky's gray. I love how the cold blankets my body while drinking mom's hot chocolate.

It was still raining when I arrived at the office at around 9:30. I was supposed to pass the requirements of my scholarship but the office was closed. I waited for a few minutes. It didn't open. The place was desserted.

I was alone. I was stupid.

So, I went to the mall to chill. Alone. I first went to National Bookstore. I went to the magazine stand and read the latest issue of National Geographic. I managed to finish reading it after 20 minutes. It cost 399 pesos but I didn't spend even a single penny. By 11:30, I got hungry ergo ate heavy lunch. Alone.

While walking alone in the mall, I saw my high school crush. She was still beautiful. Her chinky eyes. Her sweet smile. Her fair complexion. I thought she didn't recognize me. I haven't shaved for three days. I was wrong. She even smiled at me and said, "Hi kuya!".

Right. Kuya. Big brother. She still considers me as her big brother. She wished of having one, like what she told me a few years back. I wanted to be more than her kuya back then. Foolish thought.

Time flies so fast.

I went back to National Bookstore. I saw some books. I have this urge to buy these three books. I imagined having a thousand peso bill in my wallet. I held the books for a minute or two.

It was painful. Window shopping isn't really my thing.

With limited money, I decided to go home - an hour journey.

While walking at the sidewalk, I saw her. Again.

"Ikaw nanaman?"

"Yes, ako nanaman. (smiles)"

"Sige kuya, bye!"

Yesterday was an odd day.

Time to move on.

Future Tense

While some of my batch mates (mostly from the Social Science and Humanities Department) are somewhat eager to land a decent job after graduation. I on the other hand will still study for another 5 years (specialization not included). Today. I feel like I'm taking a college entrance exam, again - filling up some forms, pasting some 2x2 ID pictures on it, photocopying some important documents and the list goes on and on.

I overheard them saying, "I wanna be rich" or "I hope I'll have an extraordinary career growth" or "I hope I work in a stable company".

And when they asked me for my future plans, I just told them, in a straightforward manner, like a bullet darting its way to the victim, "I'm going to study medicine. Still a student for the next 5 years". They were a bit surprised.

"Aren't you tired of being a student? I mean, another four years of studying? Why don't you just work instead and build your career in the field of research?", they asked.

"You know what, my mind tells me that I can still endure such stressful activities. Stress is actually everywhere! Do you think working for your monthly earnings is not stressful? I guess not. I know my capabilities. I know the limitations of my body. I know it's hard but I believe it is my duty to serve our country once I'm through with med school. And with that, I know that through my diligence and hardwork, I can help those people who are in need. I believe it is my destiny to become a doctor. We might not know, in the near future, I'm going to prescribe you some medicines that would actually save your life."

"Each and everyone of us has its own decisions. We are smart enough to determine our capacity, be mental, emotional or physical. I love what I'm doing right now and I'll do whatever it takes to reach my goals in life."

They were stunned. So am I.