Happy Valentine's Day to me!

I finally got my passport with my Canadian tourist visa in it. Hurray for a multiple-entry visa! Plus, days before, I also got my Australian tourist visa, also multiple-entry. AND TODAY, I just found out that I won a free trip to Seoul this April! Wow! I didn't expect that my entries would win. Finally, I now have the chance to visit Seoul during the Spring season. I can't wait!

But first, I need to prepare for my winter trip to Toronto which will be happening in eleven days. OMG. I can't believe these are all happening! Thank you, universe!

The Long Wait Is Over

Finally, Canada approved my tourist visa application. I have been anxious and worried for the past few days. I have never been so stressed about this visa application. All's well that ends well. Now, my trip to Toronto is finally happening! I really thought they'd deny application the second time around. Phew! What a relief! I can still remember how I felt after reading my email notification from Canadian immigration.

This is it!

Anxiously waiting

Haven't heard from the Canadian visa, but I am really hoping that they'll approve my visa the second time. Gosh, all these things from work, visa, and travel have been making me anxious for the past few days. The monster in me was unleashed and I hated it so much that it came to that point. I need to refocus my goals and be more patient with everything. I really hate myself for overanalyzing and overthinking stuff. Ugh. Can I be a kid again when the only thing I worry about was to maintain my ranking at school? Gosh, I'm almost 30 yet I'm still struggling with the way I handle things. I am an air traffic controller for God's sake! I should know how to handle pressure and stress! Oh dear.

So help me God.

Second Chance

Last week, I got a letter from the embassy, and I got denied. It was disheartening at first but when I read the letter, it wasn't bad that all. Sought help to someone's knowledgable about it, and it took us around 3 days to finish the online application. However, they have a new immigration requirement. I need to submit the biometrics in either Manila or Cebu. No Davao. Of course, I chose Cebu since it's nearer. It was my first time to fly in and fly out on a city on the same day! Crazy, right? But anyway, they are now processing my visa and hopefully this time, I've provided the documents they needed. Gosh, I can't think of other reasons why they won't grant me a visitor's visa. As the cliche goes, there's always a first time. It was truly heartbreaking, but I have no choice but to move on. I know I spent 7k from my first application. There were regrets, but there's no point of crying over spilled milk. I can always bring back the money I spent, but I can't just afford to throw away my one and only chance to work and live in Toronto.

C'mon, universe! Let's do this!

Busy Bee

I've been preoccupied with a lot of stuff lately - my upcoming interview and sim exam in Toronto, the big day, and a whole lot more. But this is still good. Keeps my head busy. I wanted to buy the journal from Everyday Explorers 'coz it's cute. Plus it is color teal, my favorite. But, the stingy in me doesn't want to spend Php 980. But, but, but. Acckkk. I've already claimed my travel organizer from Starbucks, and I've already started writing it. But meh.

Yesterday, my mate in Toronto told me that the training manager and the tower manager already got my CV/resume and cover letter. He had spoken highly about me, so I'm guessing they have high expectations for me. Gah, I don't feel any pressure right now. At least, I am super motivated to work harder and to study smarter. I still have less than six weeks before my trip. Yaaaayyyy. Gonna be my first super long-haul flight. Can't imagine myself flying for 17 hrs straight. I am praying that I won't have seatmates. I guess the trick worked, and I have proven it to myself. Lol.

Feliz Año Nuevo

Obligatory new year post. Anyway, just a quick update how my new year went.

I spent the new year's eve at the office, which was great coz it's my first time lol. Well, at least I get to rest for three and a half days before I start my shift again this Friday afternoon. 2018 was not really a rollercoaster ride for me. It was rather a steady road trip with a few speed bumps. This year, I get to appreciate my friends, especially the ones who were with me in good times and in bad times. Thank you so much. I can't imagine my life without you guys. I know I always spend my time alone at the restaurants, coffee shops, and cinema, but when I needed help, you were always there for me. To all my haters out there who love to talk behind my back - I won't change. As long as I'm doing good and not offensive, we're all good. Also, I don't give a flying fuck about y'all. Lol. Oops, pardon my French.

I am planning something. I won't spill the details because I might get jinxed, but I am hoping that everything will be worth it until the end. 2019 is going to an amazing year for me, I can sense that. If 2018 was about going with the flow, then 2019 will be about taking the leap of faith. I think everything's falling into places.

Things Have Changed

Today's my day off and I have nothing to do other than browsing my Instagram and Facebook feed. For some reasons, nostalgia hit me hard. So, I browsed my personal blog entries dated more nine to ten years ago. I was still in my 2nd or 3rd year in uni. During those days, I had a LOT of time to blog at least three times a day, despite my busy academic schedule. I mean, where did I harness enough energy to blog at least two to three times a day? On top of that, most entries are more than 600 words. Wow, I had so many things to share back then, whether my mundane life at the uni or my thoughts about the random stuff I see and read on the internet. Blogging that time was totally different what it is today. It used to be an avenue for people to express their thoughts regardless of the outcome. It is a safe haven for people to rant and share some things that they love or hate. I won't deny that blogging helped me in some ways - like a punching bag to people battling anger management. I used not to talk to most people, except for my closest friends and family. Blogging is my way to express my thoughts. I'm the type of person who can't stand a day or two to share what's on my mind. I need to let it out.

If only I have the chance to revisit my 18 or 19-year-old self, I would tell him to continue writing and don't let indolence rule over you. Never stop writing. Although I didn't really stop, I just had several months of hiatus in this blog. I rarely update it. But I always make a promise to update this site more often. I can't just abandon this site for good. This is my first online home, and I will always seek solace in it. 

2019 is just around the corner. Yey!

But why?

I don't get it. I don't really get it why some people exert so much effort just to bring a person down? I mean, why would they even bother to do it? It's a waste of time, frankly speaking. I know I should be able to handle this petty thing called hatred because I'm already mature enough to just ignore this, yet I can't help but think and sulk about it. It's kinda sad. Sad because I never had the chance to talk to those people whom I thought were nice, mature, and professional. I didn't do anything wrong to them, yet they try to bring me down by humiliating me online. I didn't deserve it. But what did I do?  I swallowed my pride and admit something that I didn't even do it. I know I'm an idiot, but if I did the right thing, they'd feed on my pride and even use it against me. So, yeah. I had no choice but choose the lesser evil. Everyone's a work in progress, and we all commit mistakes at some points of our lives. I know myself - my strengths and weaknesses. If ever I did something wrong, I would wholeheartedly accept it, and apologize to the affected party. I don't know. Oh well, these people are already on my block list. I wish them all the best in life, and let karma do her job. As the saying goes: Nasa akin ang huling halakhak.