Light in the Lamp

Remember, remember, the thirtieth day of September, for this is the last day before October first.

I consider this day as the happiest day of the first semester. It all started when our Geology third long exam was moved to the seventh day of October. Then, the much-awaited standing in Organic Chemistry was finally posted outside the Food Sci and Chem Dept. Faculty and YEAAAAAAAHHHH! In my case, I had a VERY HIGH chance to survive this dreadful subject. Yeah, I thought tres is my highest possible grade, I can still reach the normal line-of-two-grade. Mind you, it felt so great! It gave me a motivation to strive harder on to the third and final exam. OOOOHH (keeps his fingers crossed).

The Botany exam was really a joke. No, don’t get me wrong. Ma’am Novero’s fond of giving challenging and mind boggling exams. Hanggang sa pag-uwi namin kaninang 3.30, we still talked about the different families of Angiosperms and Gymnosperms. HAHAHA.

Oh yeah, speaking of Dr. Novero, we were surprised AND HAPPY when she announced that we will not have our second laboratory moving exam in Botany since the long exam constitutes of only 20% in our Laboratory grade. HAHAHAHA. OOOOHHH YEAH.

But the only thing that makes my day, errr, unhappy is my tummy. Mummy, mummy, my tummy hurts. I don’t know. It goes like this:

I ate my “lunch” at around 10.30 in the morning and in our last activity in Microbiology Lab, we prepared Tempeh Cake, Kimchi and Yoghurt. I ate my yoghurt scrumptiously. That was almost noon time. By 1 pm, I ate Taho (And Manong Taho didn’t practice the proper aseptic technique, HAHAHA, OC!). By 1.30 pm, my tummy hurt a little bit and after some time, the pain grew as if it’s digesting my own stomach. I grumbled about it the moment we left the Wildlife Laboratory.

I don’t know. I want to sleep. My sleep was only a joke. I need to have a REAL sleep, and still, my tummy hurts. Maybe I’m Lactose intolerant. BUT WHO CARES? I have sought and found the light that I’ve been dreaming since I stumbled into the realm of abyssal darkness. MAY LIWANANG ANG BUHAAAAYYYY!

orga(sm)ic chemistry

Okay, so the title’s very elusive.

But I don’t care. I have to admit that I have a hard time on understanding this subject. Yes, Gen. Chem and Analytical Chem is way tooo easy. And even if Organic Chem doesn’t ask you to solve for the pH level and etc, they just ask you one simple thing: to synthesize an organic compound from another compound. Take note, it’s not a one-step process (and some processes are irreversible)! One should memorize each synthesis and reactions of certain functional groups in order to derive a correct answer. What’s adding to our perplexity is the different approach of this subject. It is way too dissimilar compared to my previous Chemistry subject. I have never felt this feeling before, no, NOT AT ALL.

Okay, so flunking is just normal in school, but isn’t it annoying if I flunk the subject and have wasted my precious time? After that, I will always ponder on to the same thought over and over again - that I should have studied on this subject and might have aced on to it. Okay, the worst-case scenario is just giving me an intense migraine and goosebumps. Well, on the lighter side, I guess my only hope is to ace on Bio 70, Microbio, Nat Sci 2 and Botany to compensate Organic Chem. Damn. I just hope that everything will be fine, now that New Moon and Plurk is causing a hindrance on to my regular study habits. But no, I must concentrate. I must focus. I need power, enough wit and of course, LUCK.

dorky olympics

If couch potatoes and TV bummers have this superficial idea called “movie marathon”, wherein they’ll just sit in the couch and watch their favorite series 24/7, we the trying hard geeks shall have an exam marathon starting on September 27, 2008 ‘til the thirteenth of October, 2008. Here, we'll just sit in to our chair but instead of facing the idiot box, we have to face papers, thick books and instead of holding a remote control, we have to hold our breath, pens and cling on to our dear life.

These two things mean the same thing. Drooping eyes, anxiety, giddiness, nervousness and tired mind. The latter is more interesting than the former, right geeks? HAHAHA.

Oh yeah, may pasok ba sa October 1? Declared holiday na ba siya ni Madam President? Well, if that’s the case, kawawang Bio 70. Baka mageexam nalang kami sa Saturday, AGAIN. I hate Saturday exams.

On the other hand, walang tulugan nanaman mamaya since I have to be 100% sure of my answer in my Physics take-home exam. Though my standing’s not failing (not pasang-awa level), I should still grab this rare opportunity. It’s my first time to experience this kind of exam. Hahaha. I hope Giancoli will save me tonight.

BTW.. SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT, I forgot to watch Amazing Race. I can’t blame it. Last night was our play in Microbiology. Oh well, at least YouTube’s ready to hoard my sadness. Bleh.

domination of geeks

Not so long ago, right after the bloody Calculus exam, an appealing girl asked her seatmate about his answers in the exam. Then she asked the answers of others. They were all excited since all of them have the same answer. They were vying to pass or even ace on to the third long exam of the said subject.

Until…

A tall, lean and thin guy with thick glasses, unpolished black leather shoes accompanied by his favorite shirt-tucked-in fashion and a hairstyle combed in one direction approached the thrilled group.

In a droning voice but with pure innocence, he said, “No, all of you have an erroneous answer in the exam a while ago. And I believe that It was just a trick from our Calculus professor.”

And in a spur of the moment, the aura suddenly changed - the former atmosphere of euphoric joy abruptly changed to fury and rage. They were all sullen to the geek. The sky turned dark and lightning flashes every 5 seconds. The group, armed with pitchforks and bamboo sticks chased the poor geek.

And he THOUGHT he had saved their day, but apparently, it was indeed their day to torture and possibly, kill him.

But then, on a realistic approach, I am sometimes chased by deranged people armed with pitchforks and bamboo sticks. HAHAHAHAHA. Don’t worry, I always bring my antimatter gun. HAHAHAHA. LOL.

back in a jiffy

Do you know what it feels like when you pay approximately 35 pesos for an almost 40 pages reading materials for Bio 70 and yet you can’t read the most important terms of the lesson?

The culprit: Undecipherable pages due to unwanted ink blots made by the photocopier machine.

Shitty, right?

Pardon me, ‘coz I’m going to rant everything under the sun, not, since I’m running out of time. I still have to memorize all those botanical terms, families, divisions, EVERYTHING. No, I can’t mull over this thing as procrastination! I’m a human being and I need adequate rest. Botany’s not my ONLY subject for this semester. I have others as well. I guess I should learn how to balance time and control my unwanted urges, like this.

So, I’m taking a surprise cyberbreak since Angiosperms are killing me. I have to drown myself in a pool of brewed Rubiaceae aka coffee. Now this song suits my mood today:

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Come to an end come to an...
Why do all good things come to end?
Come to an end come to an...
Why do all good things come to an end?

WHY? WHY? WHY? I mean, why in a jiffy? Why not opt to a longer period of time? I guess there are things that are beyond control by humans.

So yeah, back to Angiosperms. Walang tulugan mode. I wish I was a vampire. Immortal, and doesn’t need to sleep at all. One day, JUST FOR ONE DAY. Oh wait, for two weeks. YES. That would be great.

Passport to Hades

I know. I don't have any plausible plans to go to Hell (but I'm curious about the place, so I want to be like Virgil in Dante Alighieri's Inferno, LOL).

Anyhow, I was quite stunned by the tedious schedule for our third long exams, here it is:

* Sept 27 – Microbiology Lab (Moving Exam), and Nat Sci. 2
* Sept. 30 – Botany Lec., Earth Science/ Geology
* October 1 – NO CLASS!
* October 2 – Microbiology Lec, Botany Lab
* October 3 – Organic Chem Lec, Organic Chem Lab,


Great! So there’s no excuse of failing on to these exams, I guess, since I do have plenty of time (except for Wednesday since I have to answer my take-home exam in Physics) to review. I guess should have to start reviewing my lessons, slides, and presentations today.

---

So I have to say my provisional goodbyes to the following things:

* Sensible entries – I’m not fond of writing short blog entries (unless it’s required) :))

* Plurk – and I don’t care if my karma slumps down to ZERO. Who cares if my karma’s zero, right? Exams are more important. Du’uh.

* Theme Requests – I can do your personal requests (you know who you are) by the second week of October. I know you can understand my situation, can’t you?

* Virtual Tennis 3 – Unless, if I’ll be bored during break period and kung dala ni Neil PSP niya. Lol.

* New Moon – And I’m annoyed with Bella’s incoherence and inconsistency. Hahaha.

* What else?.. Hmmmm.. Ahhhhh! I need coffee. It’s been a long time since my last cup.


After this, may second part pa, which is Final Exam! Hahaha.

“Aanhin ang KARMA kung bagsak lang naman ang exams”
“Babangon ako at KAKARMAHIN din ako by sembreak”

---

Tu lascerai ogne cosa diletta
più caramente; e questo è quello strale
che l'arco de lo essilio pria saetta.
Tu proverai sì come sa di sale
Lo pane altrui, e come è duro calle
Lo scendere e 'l salir per l'altrui scale...

You shall leave everything you love most:
This is the arrow that the bow of exile shoots first.
You are to know the bitter taste of others' bread,
How salty it is, and knows
How hard a path it is for one who goes
Ascending and descending others' stairs..."

Boy Bawang. Boy Yabang

This dude’s getting on to my nerve for the past few weeks. I actually don’t care about his money and fame and his war-infested place, yet he always talk about his life over and over again.

Incident 1: He keeps on bragging about his family. The fuck I care about your family, for Christ’s sake.

“Hey, you know what? My mom’s angry to dad since he used mom’s havaianas.”

Take note, he really emphasized the flip-flop brand. So what if your mom owns a pair of Havaianas?! Mom’s owns three pairs, and so my classmates and friends too. Duuuuh.

“Alam mo nga, sa SCHOOL namin, may BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH”

WTF. I don’t care.

Incident 2: The report thing.

I and my good friend were talking about their presentation in Nat Sci 2. Take note, we were the only one who talks about the presentation until he suddenly joins our conservation. Now he interrupted our conversation but my good friend, who’s now immune with his attitude, gave in.

Dude: Hey, you know what? Everyone in the class listened to us!
Me: (in a blunt manner): Well, that’s great!

“Makatawa lang ako kasi one time, may topic kami about nitrous oxide, yung laughing gas, tapos may isang freshie nagtanong: Ano ang makatawa jan? (insert conceited laugh).. TANGA masyado!!”

Me: (Binabara ko na siya, in a sarcastic-baby-talk manner): Hindi man nila kasalanan kung di nila alam ang Nitrous Oxide. Arki kasi sila, hindi Bio.
Dude: Kahit na! Hahaha.
Me: Huuuy ang sama mo talaga.

Incident three: OTO-san.

He keeps on commanding things, as if he has no hands and feet.

While doing my lab report in Botany..

“Uy Renz, pakicut nga ng answer sheet ko”

Me: Bulag ka ba? I’m doing this lab report and you’re just flirting with somebody, TAE.

The night before our presentation..

“Uy, pakiabot nga ng gunting”

(and I was carrying 4 heavy paper bags and some props)

Me: Naman oh, wala ka ngang ginagawa jan, utos ka pa ng utos!

‘Nuff said. I keep on grumbling about his attitude. The fuck I care about him. Tae. There are some many things that I want to blabber, but no, maybe he’s reputation would be at stake. Clue: the controversial Chem 16. He should be a retaker last sem but.. errr. I don’t know.

He's a parasite and only depends on to our answers in lab reports. DAMN IT.

He only thinks of himself and HE NEVER LISTENS TO US. Doña Puñeta is already famous now. Lagi nang nagagamit name niya. HAHAHAHA.

Saturday Fever

Somebody in school must attend a refresher course in reading/language comprehension (elementary level), for crap’s sake. An outline is VERY different to summary. Tae.

It’s a propitious day for me. I made a fictional story about microorganisms (disease and etc.) in one item of the most recent laboratory moving exam. Later, I realized that the “fictional” story was indeed a FACT. HAHAHA. =)))

Alright, I was quite disappointed with the bonus station – read the tongue twister, loud and clear with confidence (the purpose is to distract others, hahaha). Others have an easy tongue twister, like the classic pitumput-pitong puting tupa (and sometimes, you’ll blabber the unwanted yet funny PUTA word), Toy Boat and the relo ni Leroy thing.

Mine was different:

Girl Gargoyle, Guy Gargoyle

HAHAHAHA. Very funny. Sometimes, I could blabber Al Gore’s name. HAHAHA.

--

Okay, this happened a while ago. It was six in the morning and fortunately, I wasn’t late for my 7 am exam in Geology.

Dad: Oh, ba’t maaga kang nagising ngayon? It’s a miracle!
Me: Dad?! as usual, exam.
Dad: Exam? On Saturday? Again??! It looks like parang araw-araw na kayong nag-eexam.
Me: I knooooow. We still have ‘til next week, and the week after next week.
Dad: HAHA.

Wow naman, HAHA nalang sinagot. LOL.

--

And I want to sleep. Good night. I know the sun’s shining brightly but I’m sleepy. I’m a vampire. RAWR.

Serendipitous Fate

It was February.

The quaint spring breeze makes the aura traumatic, well in some ways, thanks to my wonderful winter vacation back in Paris. Now I’m here in a hot and humid country, it still irks me whenever I look up in a heavy cloud-shrouded sky. It reminds me of something - Something benevolent in a pragmatic way of life.

It was raining and almost half of the class was late. Good thing, our Theology teacher was not that strict – an angel in disguise.

And then I saw her again. I would always daydream of her sweet her, billowing through my face. I would always hear her laughter whenever she’s happy. I’m always sad when somebody tries to hurt her feelings. The feeling was profound and naïve. Whenever I see her smile, it will make my day complete. No hesitations.

But reality hit me. I can see her everyday but I still can’t comprehend the way her eyes meet mine. I could somewhat sense her ethereal presence hovering on to me. I’ve come to realized that I’m in love with emptiness. I’m just a complete stranger and she’s every man’s dream girlfriend – pretty, witty, rich and famous.

I am pretty oblivious to the world of Oblivion. :(

--

Spring of 2006

Dear Diary,

I’ve never compelled myself to like him, no. Yes, I have to admit that he’s just an average guy in school except that sometimes, I’m always stunned by his presence. I don’t know why. The fact that I do have lots of friends from different walks of life doesn’t mean that I’m famous.

Even if I haven’t known him, there’s this magical spark that ignites my inner feelings. I would always feel awkward whenever I think that I’m close to him. No. I’m not that courageous. People may be surprised when I talk to him. We live in a different world, yes but I want my life to simple, like him. I’m tired of having this kind of life. I don’t care if I have a million dollars in my account nor overstated cars in my garage, it’s useless. Mom’s been away for like thirteen years and I haven’t seen my dad smiling even just for a few jiffies. I lived in a fortress, filled with trepidations and sorrow and it pains me so much whenever I think the veracity of my life.

And whenever I see him, it would always remind me of hope. Hope in a sense that he has a direction in life. Everyone knows me as a happy, pretty and witty girl. But no, I despise those compliments. My face is but a mask that hides all of the pain and sorrow that I’ve been suffering for more than a decade. I just want to be happy.

But there’s no plausible way that I can get close to him. It pains me so much when I think that painful fact.

Does Kaitlyn ring a bell?

Kaitlyn Maher is one of the sweetest talents that you’ll ever find in a reality show. She’s a contestant of America’s infamous reality show, America’s Got Talent. But the thing that bothers me so much is her age - she’s only four years old and she’s facing the different faces of multitude and receives both constructive and spiteful criticisms of media.

I can’t help it but to comment about the show.

Isn’t it appropriate to let an exceptionally young and innocent child join in a reality show? I mean being a contestant of a reality show is very strenuous and it can somehow affect the behavior and personality of the contestant, if he’s not used with the veracity of the reality shows. It’s the cruelest world to dwell with.

Kaitlyn’s parents should have waited the right age (emotionally matured) before she can fully surmise the reality of joining such contests. Kaitlyn’s too young for it and it would be very traumatic to her condition if she will face different unwanted factors of media. I’m pretty much worried about her. If she’ll win, then there’s a possibility that her career would be very similar to Britney Spears, who at an early age of 16 became the celebrated Pop Princess of the music industry but eight years later, she doesn’t wear panties and shaved her hair or to Michael Jackson, wherein his face was transformed through different kinds of chemicals ‘til he looks like a chimpanzee.

But who knows, right? We can’t predict future. We can’t travel in a time machine. Time machines don’t exist, du’uh?!

Just a simple thought to remember:

Man’s talent is inevitable, but man’s destiny is irremediable.

Tres is Equal to Uno

I have already heard this speech delivered by my classmate in Comm. 3 last semester and I didn't pay even the slightest attention on to it (though he made the audience laugh and the thought is not pointless).

Sorry Art. hahaha :))

But today, I can now feel the significance of his speech. =/

---

Several minutes ago, I checked my multiply account and in one of my pending invites, may gustong mag-add sa akin, and I was very stupefied by its name, well something related to ORGANIC Chemistry. PWEDE BAAAA? =/

---

So okay, I'm very confident that I'll flunk on to the second long exam. Yes, for the second time. But I still have the third long exam and the Final Exam. Shooooot. I've come to realize that even if how interesting and no matter how I'll love this subject (man, I love Chem since birth), Organic Chem doesn't love me. The feeling's not mutual (YAK EMO). Pero seryoso, I don't have any difficulties on understanding those organic reactions, synthesis of ketones, aldehydes, alcohols and other organic compounds, but during the exam, everything's different. (CLASSMATES, AGREEEEE??!)

In simple analogy: I'm studying a story from the Old English Literature, only to find out that my exam's on Intermediate French not on English Literature.

Hahaha. So, I always think of this desperate scenario: 3.0 in Chem 31's good. 2.75 better, 2.5 is the best. 2.25's impossible. 5.0 is.. ooops. No, no no. ERASE. ERASE. ERASE!

Ma-uno ko lang ang Bio 70, and 1.5 and Microbiology, solve na ang problema (well, maybe).

BAHALA NA. I think I'll just have to concentrate on to this subject, and leave others to oblivion. HAHAHAHA. Some sort of a sacrifice. But no, I can't leave Earth Science and Microbiology. They are my only hope to maintain my standing. Shit.

Can you just imagine? Right after my Org. Chem exam, I just slept (for like, 30 minutes) in my next class, which is Nat Sci 2! It was just an oral report about evolution, speciation and the Galapagos Island. The seat in my right's vacant and my professor sat beside me while listening to the report. Then my eyes started to feel heavy, as heavy as a ten-wheeler truck. I didn't have a choice but to sleep. YES, right beside my professor.

'Nuff said. I'm just bitter. I'm just a crap.

Two more exams. May liwanag pa ang buhay, as of the 5th of September, 2008, 8.21 pm. I've been longing for a twelve hour sleep.

BTW, para sa mga nagpapagawa sa akin ng mga digiart things like themes, wallpapers, order forms and ETC, I'm sorry, I don't have a choice but to suspend your personalized works/ requests 'til the first week of OCTOBER. I know it's hard and painful. Yikes.

Thank you for reading this crappy entry, really.