2020

It's the time of the year when we post how we spent the year and how it culminated. This year was an exception–no throwback travel photos, no photos of your family and friends being together. It has been a long and dreary year for us, and January 2020 felt like it happened a decade ago. We have been through hardships this year, and all of these have affected most of us. It's easy to say that 2020 is the worst year yet as some succumbed to the virus, and long-awaited plans have to be put on hold indefinitely. Some of us were also quite eager to see the sunshine again, the birds sing, the flowers bloom, and this cold veil, the outbreak lifts itself off of this world. Most had desired so mere, yet so lofty. Everyone wanted to do what they did last year and the years before: live normally again, breathe once again some outer air. However, before this outbreak, people were tired of living monotonous lives, and they craved some change.

This year was all about realizations instead of expectations. We truly understood the meaning in the phrase, 'life is precious' and truly learned not to take anything or anyone for granted, not to guarantee anything, and to expect less and accept more. 

2020 changed us in every possible way. What was once flourishing in 2019 plunged into a deep, dark abyss in 2020. While some of us became a little cold, let's shed off the misfortunes that engulfed us, let us again smell the glittering new year. 2020 was a year that enhanced people's experience with turmoil and some with trauma due to the passing of those that once breathed air like we once did. While we're at it, we have stories and tales to tell when we're old and gray, like what we hear from the war veterans. While I am aware that it's like comparing apples and oranges, what happened this year will be embalmed in our history books, and one day, the future generations will one day use it as a source of knowledge.

One can only hope that 2021 will give us everything that we couldn't have in 2020. While 2021 rhymes with '2020 won', it didn't win.

The Impact of COVID-19 on Philippine Air Traffic Management

On March 12, 2020, Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte announced the halt of domestic land, sea, and air travel to and from Manila beginning on March 15. The National Capital Region (NCR) and the Greater Manila Area (GMA) were under Extensive Community Quarantine (ECQ) to curb the spread of COVID-19. International flights to key cities in the country had followed as well. While the government has advised everyone to stay at home, it was an entirely different story for air traffic controllers, albeit with the new safety procedures and health protocols mandated by the Department of Health.

The Air Traffic Service of the Civil Aviation Authority of the Philippines (CAAP) officially inaugurated the Philippine Air Traffic Management Center (ATMC) last August 2019 as it gears towards the integration of systems of the approach control and en route facilities of the country. The new integrated system addresses the increasing demand for air travel in the country. 

Know Thy Worth

So, I had an hour of a heart-to-heart talk with my best mate in Toronto. I told everything about why I was feeling down and sad these past few days. I told my mate that I have dropped a bomb that really caught him (nope, not my mate, the other person) off guard. I was actually expecting it. My good mate told me that there's nothing wrong with me and I just have to do those things that make me happy. He said, "know your worth, Renz!". I'm still in the process of recovering from all the bad shenanigans I did. It was downright irrational, irresponsible, and I might have caused a burden to him, to begin with. His last message read, "I really appreciate this. I have to process it though." Maybe I am still new to this thing, and the lesson was learned the hardest way. People really come and go, but they teach you valuable lessons in life. I should go with the flow, and the person who truly values me will just come when I least expect it.

Such a life!

PS: And oh, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris won!

Irrational Thoughts at 1 AM

I always think that I'm smart, rational, and organized. At work, I believe that I'm one of the most efficient employees, and I always strive for perfection. I have no problem with that. BUT, when it comes to love, I'm on the opposite spectrum.

Against The Tide

My dearest Super Pumpkin,

Maybe you will forget everything I have written here, but it doesn’t matter. Resting upon these pages are my truest feelings for you. I will leave my love for you so you might someday find it, when you’re moving to a better apartment, or when you start disposing old things from your drawer or cabinet, and so I may leave it behind me, so I may live again. Like the way, I used to live before.

Sodexo unwraps the best gifts and their digital solution this holiday season

Sodexo Benefits and Rewards Services fosters the spirit of gratitude this holiday season with a multitude of exclusive deals for its corporate clients and consumers. For companies to reward their employees in a safe and efficient way during these times, Sodexo also launches its new digital solution, the Sodexo+ app to complement their paper solution, Premium Pass.

The US Elections 2020

The entire world is watching. It's a neck-to-neck battle between the incumbent President Trump and Joe Biden. This is the current electoral college map, Biden, with 238 votes, and Trump is trailing behind at 213 votes. Nevada, Michigan, and Wisconsin are all leaning towards Biden as they continue to count the mail-in votes. Nevada has six (6) electoral votes, while Michigan and Wisconsin have sixteen (16) and ten (10) electoral votes. The remaining states that are leaning towards Trump are Pennsylvania, Georgia, and North Carolina. These three states have 20, 16, and 15 electoral votes, respectively.

100 decibels

 I am so disappointed right now. Although, the wounds were patched and bridges weren't burned, but I still can't get over to it. I know that sometimes I can get tactless, but it's just me. When things didn't go in my way, I try to be sarcastic because it's my coping mechanism. It's me being me. But apparently, someone misconstrued it and blew it out of proportions. I was yelled at and the last time I got yelled at was decades ago, like when I was still six or seven and it was understandable during that time because I was so naughty, but to be yelled at because of a misconstrued statement? I don't know, I just broke out and cried. For the first time in my life, I felt helpless. I cried so hard because I wasn't expecting that to happen. I felt so sorry for myself. I believe I didn't deserve that kind of treatment.

I guess I need to stay away from certain people and enjoy solitude. Yes, a time to be alone.

Retreat House

 And just like that, my month-long R&R has finally come to an end. So sad, but I had fun despite a few minor speedbumps and inconveniences along the way. I will defo miss those days when I'd just play the PS4 all day, edit my vlogs, and just catch up with my reading and Netflix lists. I'm grateful for the central office's initiative to give us a month-long vacay without deducting my leave credits. How cool is that? Also, I managed to finish Ace Combat 7 thrice! HAHAHA.

Back to reality. Back to work. Back to seeing my favorite colleagues. Back to seeing the faces of my colleagues whom I abhor the most (hahaha such a bitch, I know).

But, there's one thing that I wish to end–COVID-19. I miss going to the gym (though I'm still slim, only gained a pound since the quarantine started, but it made me happier because of endorphins and other happy hormones), I miss going to coffee shops alone, and most of all, I miss traveling.

Unexpected Reward

Life knows how to throw lemons at you because it becomes two pitchers of lemonade right before hitting me. Lmao. So today, the chiefs had a meeting and since the mental health of the air traffic controllers is on their top priority, they're now allowing us to fly home and stay there for one month without deducting our leave credits. They thought of rewarding us for staying as one of the front-liners in the aviation sector (as if we had a choice duh, but still grateful for their decision). It's been almost seven months since the last time I went home to Davao. So, yeah. I am stoked that I'm finally going home and stay there for a month. I've applied for the medical clearance from the barangay and the travel authority from the police.

Can't wait!

22 July

This is just a quick movie review. Take note that I have so much time to watch series and movies even at work. This is just one of my coping mechanisms from this global pandemic.

22 July is a very moving film about Norway’s deadliest terror attack, in which a right-wing extremist murders 77 teens at a youth camp in 2011. The film used restraint and empathy for the families whose lives were upended by an obsessed assassin. The film also reminds everyone about how political extremism can rattle a highly volatile society. The editing, cinematography, and the soundtrack were all on point. Casting the Norwegian actors instead of those from Hollywood adds the authenticity of this film. 

Rating: 4/5

My 30th Birthday

I imagine myself writing this post at Santa Monica Pier while watching its famous sunset. It's past 8:00 PM, yet the sun is still at the horizon, spreading its rays and warmth to everyone. The sun cast its golden rays down upon the clouds of billowing smoke, turning them bright red; fire red. Moments later, the sky bled crimson, purple, and orange. It felt as if my soul was transported into a timeless existence, ready for the protective blanket of night and new dreams.

Schittiest Show Ever

Oh my God. This sitcom is one of the best I've watched. You know the tv series is so good that the characters grow into you. There's so much to talk about how beautifully crafted this show was. I love about the character development of everyone, it never veered-off from its story, and best of all, I've learned a lot of life lessons from it.

When life gives you shit, you have to stand up, clean yourself, start a clean slate, and move forward.

God, I ugly cried after watching the finalé. It was good. I wish it lasted for 20 seasons. This Canadian sitcom will be sorely missed. I will definitely miss the bickering between Alexis and David, Moira's extensive vocabulary, and the way she pronounces baby as bébé, Johnny's care for his family, and all the side characters of this show. I still can't get over with it!

We Get Sick As One

Days ago, I received an email from Cebu Pacific Air. They canceled my flight to Davao this July 29. I was supposed to fly home and celebrate my birthday with my family. But, I was waiting for their email, frankly speaking. With active cases of COVID-19 still rising, it's still risky to travel around. No choice but to render duty on my birthday. For the first time in forever, I'd be working on my birthday. It's not just an ordinary birthday, but it'll be my 30th birthday. Maybe in the parallel universe, the world won't be experiencing this global pandemic. I'd probably be in Los Angeles, celebrating my 30th birthday.

But no, it all boils down to safety. We're dealing with a public health crisis. While some countries have already started flattening their curve, my country has no plans to do it. Instead, we are fattening the curve. It's downright embarrassing, I tell you!

I am losing hope. But don't y'all worry. Ya boy is still fine, but I can't help but feel tired and exasperated from all the things I hear from the news. This too shall pass.

Summer Solstice

Tomorrow marks the summer solstice at the northern hemisphere, the longest day of the year. However, this doesn't have drastic effects on countries located near the equator or just below the tropic of cancer. In Manila, where I'm currently residing, sunset is at around 6:40 PM, but in other countries, like Sweden and Canada, sunset time is at 10:45 PM and 9:01 PM respectively. It'd be cool to go out at 9 PM but the sun is still shining. The longest duration of the day that I've experienced was when I traveled to Melbourne last February. It was still mid-summer and the sun goes down before 9 PM. It was cool to experience though.

Tomorrow also marks my grandfather's birthday. He should've been 79 this year, but he died almost four years ago. I terribly miss him so much. But, I guess we had great memories together when he was still alive. At least I grew up with a grandfather figure behind me. We used to catch grasshoppers and ladybugs when I was three (I was really a nerd since I was young), fly a kite together, and he would never hesitate to give me piggyback rides, even if his neck and back hurt.

Anyway, still no news about resuming flights to Davao. I mean, flights have slowly resumed, but leisure travel is not yet allowed by the government. While other countries have started to recover, Philippines is still reeling with this global pandemic, and Cebu City is now the center of the pandemic. We are now close to 30,000 cases, 7,500 of which have recovered and over a thousand people have died as of this writing. This is frustrating. This government has been lenient ever since, and they just focused on draconian measures to curb the virus. Instead of implementing mass testing and early suspension of flights from China, they focused on community quarantine which is heavily guarded by military and police. This is disheartening. I'm out of words. It's taking a toll on me. 

This year has been tiring and frustrating as fuck. I am mad.

Can we just skip this year?

It's been four months since the last time I went home to Davao. Thank you, Rona, for ruining my travel plans this year. A few hours ago, I received an email from PAL, and my flight to Davao this July got canceled as well. Why am I not surprised? Ugh, this is my fourth time to rebook my flight with this airline. It shouldn't be a problem at all knowing we are still currently battling the global pandemic, but it's a pain in the ass whenever I rebook my flights with them. I had no choice but to call their customer service again. There's no way I could rebook my flight through their website. They're so proud of calling themselves the only 4-star airline in the Philippines. 4-star, my ass! I'll give you a rating of 4 out of 100 stars if you like!

Breathe in, breathe out. This year sucks. The economy is suffering. Everyone is suffering. The government has higher priorities than addressing the current situation of this pandemic. I am frustrated and disappointed. Everyone is! I am sick and tired of reading and watching the news. It's depressing, frankly speaking. But I find ways to keep myself – writing travel stories, reading Paul Theroux novels, and catching up with my favorite tv shows.

But I still hate 2020. I can't wait to wake up from this bad dream. This year is a fucking nightmare to begin with. 

Lockdown

I am trapped. We're on community lockdown. I was supposed to fly to Davao tomorrow and on the 26th. However, the entire Philippines is in community lockdown, forcing airports to close. Land and sea travel is closely monitored by the government as well. Public transportation is also suspended. In these trying times, we are left with no choice but to obey to curb the spread of the virus.

I urge everyone to stay at home if work warrants.  For the frontliners like us, always practice good hygiene. It wasn't an easy decision for the government to impose such restrictions. Some didn't have a choice but to work but to make ends meet. Without work, they don't have enough money to feed their families. People should check their privileges as well. If you don't have anything good to say about this situation, better shut up. There's no need to shove your privileges to everyone.

The Silent Patient - Alex Michaelides

I've never read a book that is so riveting, fast-paced, and very intriguing. I have read a lot of psychological thrillers, but this one was one of the best books I've read for ages. The Silent Patient is Alex Michaelides's first novel, and boy it did not disappoint! I first saw it on a book website and it claimed as one of the best books of the year 2019. Fascinated by its premise, I looked for a copy of it, but only to find out that it wasn't available at Fully Booked that time. Sad life. Anyway, I was strolling around Chadstone Shopping Centre in Melbourne, and I finally found a copy of it. And yup, truth be told, the book did not disappoint.

The story is about a famous painter who murdered his husband and ended up at a psych hospital, unable to talk. A criminal psychotherapist got mesmerized by her case and decided to help her talk again.

A fast read, and a true definition of a page-turner. I am still reeling from that ending because it was totally mindblowing!!! It's like reading Gillian Flynn's Gone Girl, but on steroids. It was THAT intense.

Not The Right Time

Yup, I didn't make it to the final round. But like I said, it is okay. I am okay. Heck, I didn't break down or what. I humbly accepted the outcome. I'm still proud of myself for doing it. No what-ifs in the future. Maybe today's not the perfect time for it. The Big Man from above surely has greater plans for me. No regrets, just love.

Actually, it was a blessing in disguise. I just realized that I still have a lot of things to accomplished in my sector to promote the safety culture. Also, I still have a job that pays well, and I can now plan my trips up to the end of the year. Australia for my birthday? Or Vancouver? It'll be summer, but why not? Or another trip to Korea with my BFFs and do some serious shopping? See? I am still blessed. Nothing to worry about.

Speaking of Canada, due to the ongoing nCov crisis, I rebooked my flight this May 21. My friends in Toronto got overjoyed upon learning my plans. There are SOOOOO MANY THINGS TO DO IN CANADA DURING SUMMER. Excited is an understatement.

Now, time to tone down my expenses, and focus on my travel goals this year. Work hard, travel harder! Love you all!

In Advance

Okay, after almost three years of using my 2015 Macbook Pro Retina 13.3" laptop, I've upgraded to the 2019 model of it. I bought the space gray color, and man! No. Fuckin'. Regrets. I think one of the factors was the need to upgrade to a faster machine for my productivity apps (Photoshop, Lightroom, and Final Cut Pro). Don't get me wrong, my previous laptop still works fine but the dents, scratches, and the staingate screen annoyed the hell out of me. I learned my lesson the hardest way. So, I bought the hardshell case (transparent color) to give my new toy (and expensive) toy some protection as early as day one. I should have bought a screen protector but it wasn't available and I've been to a lot of Apple Stores around Greenbelt and Glorietta. Maybe when I go to Melbourne, I might buy a screen protector there. Anyway, so far, so good. The new Macbook Pro 2019 is a beast, well, based on my needs. The third-generation butterfly keyboard was kinda new to me since it's quite flat, but I love it. Also, the touch bar was also a game-changer. You really get what you paid for! I am so happy.

Actually, I told myself to buy a new laptop if I pass the cadet pilot exam of Cebu Pacific. The results aren't out yet, but I already bought a new laptop. Confident? No. I just can't wait to buy a new one. Also, people were saying that I should've waited for the 14" model, or better yet the 16" model. Well, I don't use my laptop for heavy rendering works. Probably the heaviest apps that I have right now are Final Cut Pro X, Lightroom, and Photoshop. Not to mention that my new laptop is now running in quad-core. I am not familiar with the technicals and numbers, but one thing's for sure, it had doubled its speed from my previous laptop.

Anyway, in a few days, I'll be flying to Melbourne again, this time with my mom. It'll be her first time visiting the State of Victoria. Hopefully, the weather wouldn't be that super hot, but I think it'll be sunny for the entire duration of our stay.

I am still anxious about the result. Whatever the result is, I tried. No regrets.

30 Powerful Habits

So, I saw this on my Facebook newsfeed weeks ago. In every item, I'm going to write a comment about my progress, or simply just say about something. You know, I am in the mood to update this personal blog.

Here we go!

1) Okay, IT WILL ALWAYS BE A STRUGGLE FOR ME TO WAKE UP EARLY. Plus, because of my work schedule, my body clock's all whacked up. Meaning, I sleep regardless of the time of the day. During days-off, I usually wake up late in the morning just to make up with the loss time of sleep during my work week, most especially if I rendered 24 to 32 hrs of overtime shift.

2) Well, let's just say I am pragmatic when it comes to dealing with life decisions.

4) I always love to test my limits. One of my ways is through traveling. Also, I get to know more about myself!

5) Speaking of traveling, I always make sure that I travel to experience new things. I am usually frugal, but when it comes to traveling, it almost came to a point that I became impulsive because I am always thirsty for new adventures and experiences.

6) Quality over quantity! It never bothered me that I only have a few close friends. They're the ones who fully understand me. We've been through thick and thin, so, our level of understanding and empathy is on a higher pedestal.

7) People always think that you can't say no to everyone. Through the years, I have learned the art of saying 'no'. You can't just do everything! You need to assess the situation first before you enter a certain situation.

8) Through traveling. Also, getting out of my comfort zone allowed me to know myself better.

9) I still have to learn about investments. For now, I'm doing the insurance and investment bundle from PruLife UK.

10) I love sharing new things with people–videos, blog posts, and other forms of media. Suffice to say, I'm a visual storyteller.

11) I never take small things for granted. They all matter. I've learned my lesson the hard way.

12) I. AM. TRYING. TO. EAT. VEGETABLES. I feel so attacked. Also, less usage of nonbiodegradable stuff.

13) Sometimes, engaging in political and religious views can be very toxic, especially here in the Philippines. But, I'll try to have an open mind and not resort to ad hominem fallacies.

14) Spending time with nature is always a good idea. It gives me a breath of fresh air. Literally.

15) I believe I have self-control when it comes to shopping. During the sale, I don't buy a thing just because it's on sale. If you don't need it, don't buy it. Just because it's 50% off, doesn't mean you're obliged to buy it.

16) Back to number 6. You'll never know, they'll be the one who'll protect you from harm. I'd rather have friends who are pragmatic, honest, and straightforward.

17) OMG. They say that I'm vain because I follow a strict skin-care routine. There's a huge difference between vanity and taking good care of yourself. Duh.

18) I still have to practice how to properly meditate. I ended up sleeping after trying to meditate.

19) I guess I have to be mindful of what I eat. I don't easily get fat, but I am getting older.

20) Thank God, I now have the drive to go to the gym at least 3-4 times a week!

21) When your gut's acting up, it'll be hard to recuperate as we grow older.

22) HAHAHAHA. I didn't grow up in a family that's super passionate about food. I can't cook, and it's not really for everyone.

23) Drink your water, bitch!

24) I am always grateful for everything, whether big or small.

25) Actually, I am trying to achieve my social media goals, but I need to rewrite it. I always tend to forget these things due to my busy work schedule.

26) This is how I do my things. Once I'm done with the hardest part, everything's going to be easy, finishing the task faster than I thought.

27) It's also the same as choosing your battles. Not all battles are worth fighting for.

28) I always do this at least twice a week. I usually go to the mall alone, do the shopping and eating at restaurants alone. Solitude allows me to think about a lot of things. Some find it weird, but for me, it's one of my ways to regenerate myself. Talking to a lot of people can be tiring.

29) I am always inspired.

30) Just do it.

Daddy Green

Volkswagen USA's latest ad, The Last Mile | Beetle, brought me to tears. I have a very fond memory of this car. No, I didn't use to own this car, but somebody very close to my heart.

My earliest memory of this car was almost three decades ago. My daddy–that's what I call my late paternal grandfather–owned this car until 2011 ish before they decided to just sell its parts. My papa told me me that daddy bought the Beetle around the 70s. It became their family car, and I was fortunate enough to be the next generation passenger. When I started talking, I can't stop admiring daddy's green Beetle, hence the monicker, Daddy Green. Whenever my papa's not around due to his work, daddy will always come to the rescue, and he'll drive me to school. My memory with daddy and his Daddy Green is nothing but bittersweet. That's just one of the moments that I'll treasure the most. When daddy left us three years ago, I was devastated. I couldn't grasp the fact that he's already gone. It felt like a part of me was missing. I was an almost finished puzzle, and he was the only missing puzzle piece.

Then came this video. All the memories with daddy and Daddy Green rushed through my system, like a strong wind blowing from the sea. It was still painful in my part, and I still long for daddy's presence. I can't blame myself, I was his first grandson, and I was really spoiled by him. He loved me dearly. He was my playmate. He was my attorney. He was my confidant. He was my everything.

I miss him every day. I am sure that he is in a happy place right now. He regularly visits me in my dreams, wearing a big smile on his face, wearing his favorite yellow tank top, and his short shorts.

Hello there, 2020!

I cannot believe that it's almost the last year of the decade. Looking back, I have grown physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am forever grateful to all the things I've experienced for the last ten years. Ten years, for the lack of better cliche, was a roller coaster ride. I've experienced the highs and lows, but here I am! Still alive, bitches!

For now, I shall update my online journal more often. 2019 was uhmm, let's just say I got to preoccupied with some things that were not actually worth my time. But it's okay. I shall update you in another blog post, soon. For now I shall be back for work to continue my 24-hour overtime shift. Ciao!